Insider Series - Episode #1 - Celebrants!
Over the next few months, I’ll be chatting with some of the best professionals in the industry to get an idea about what they do, some thing’s you’d never have guess they do, and some amazing stories from their time in the industry! In this five part series, we’ll be covering all aspects of the wedding industry, giving you no only an insiders glance at the world of weddings, but also some incredible vendors to consider for YOUR wedding!
First up, the literal backbone of the wedding industry.. celebrants!
Choosing the right celebrant for your wedding is a big decision. There is A LOT that goes into a celebrants job. I honestly didn’t realise how much until Queeny and I were planning our own wedding. When you’ve never planned a wedding (and, lets be honest, if you’re reading this, you probably haven’t), it’s easy to think a celebrant just shows up on the day, reads some funny stories, and goes through some legalities. That barely scratches the surface of what a good celebrant brings to your wedding.
I truly believe that a great celebrant is worth their weight in gold. A great celebrant gets to know a couple, what is important to them, what makes a couples’ relationship uniquely theirs. On top of hours of prep and planning with the couple, a celebrant is a wonderful guide through the wedding process. Let’s be honest, who knows more about weddings than a celebrant?! They can help you prepare for all aspects of your wedding, including an inside line to some of the best and brightest new vendor talents in the industry.
I had the chance to sit down with some of my absolute favourite celebrants, Robyn Pattison, Lillian Lyon, and Alice Harrington, to learn more about what they do!
RUSSELL - Hi! Who the heck are you, and how long have you been doing this?!
ROBYN - Robyn Pattison (aka, The Wedding Pixie). Nearly 12-years, and almost 2000 ceremonies!
LILLIAN - Lillian Lyon, and 15-years.
ALICE - Alice Harrington, two years!
RUSSELL - What’s your favourite thing about being a wedding celebrant?
ROBYN - Oh, the joy of storytelling and bringing people together, regardless of age, culture, language, or religion. Everybody loves love - and a great love story.
LILLIAN - The ceremony! The nerves, the happiness, the feels.
ALICE - Meeting couples! Learning about their love stories! Awkward embraces with Uncle Brian after the ceremony (nope)! But in all seriousness (and cheesiness), getting to meet so many different people, having them talk to me from the most honest parts of their heart, and then trusting me with those stories. That’s a real treat.
“A good celebrant is at least 50% counsellor on the big day.”
RUSSELL - What is something a professional wedding celebrant does that couples are always surprised to learn?
ROBYN - I have an arsenal of tricks to help you look better, feel more relaxed and get better ceremony photos. A great celebrant is at least 50% counsellor on the big day!
LILLIAN - Through the ceremony, I got to know them better than they thought.
ALICE - That I’ll print their vows on cards and bring them to the ceremony. So many couples get in a mild panic that they won’t be able to completely memorise their vows. I have to tell them “of course you can’t, you silly nut!” It’s these tiny details that make things run smoothly that couples don’t necessarily think of. They shouldn’t have to. That’s my job.
RUSSELL - What is the most memorable moment you’ve had while officiating a wedding?
ROBYN - I have laughed and cried. I have had my dress blown over my face (hello, friends). I have passed out from heat exhaustion, and frozen half to death. I have had a wheelchair bound groom walk the aisle, a bride with terminal cancer stand to make her vows, a family that danced and sang in a circle, under the trees around the bride and groom as the did their first dance. Please don't ask me to pick.
LILLIAN - There are so many over 15 years! If I had to choose only one, it was when a couple had to fast track their wedding because the bride's mum had advanced cancer. A hospital room was cleared for the ceremony and patients dressed in hospital gowns (some with their bottoms hanging out) carried gifted flowers from their own rooms to decorate the ceremony room. There were so many tears, but mum got her final wish to be a witness to her daughter's marriage ceremony. I then made my way to the wedding venue and did another ceremony there with all the wedding guests. As part of the ceremony, I painted a verbal picture of what had happened at the hospital. It was a creative and emotional challenge, one I'll never forget.
ALICE - I officiated a secret elopement in front of Ayers Rock last year. To stand with two people in such a sacred place, with everything else stripped away and marry them, it was incredible.
“Love your ceremony. The words, the feel, the sincerity. ”
RUSSELL - What are your top 3 pieces of advice for couples getting married?
ROBYN - 1) Relax. Slow down, and don't schedule every moment of your day.
2) Let it go. Go ahead and stress about every last detail until the day before (if you have to), but when you get up in the morning on your wedding day, simply decide that today is a wonderful day - and it will be.
3) Never get married just to have a wedding. A wedding is only one beautiful day in your life. If you expect it to be the best day of your life, you are closing your heart to all the little moments ahead of you.
LILLIAN - 1) Choose professionals who genuinely care about getting their job done right, and doing it beautifully. You only get one chance to nail every element at your wedding. The kiss only goes for around 2 seconds!
2) Don't leave everything until the last minute. The week of your wedding is CRAZY and can be very stressful so have everything in place with lots of time to just take it all in.
3) Love your ceremony. The words, the feel, the sincerity. Yes, have a good laugh, but remember to go with the natural flow of the ceremony. And if you cry, it will tug at your heart, which is what you'll remember in decades from now.
ALICE - 1) Relax! Enjoy! Really! All the prep we do together is for one goal; to make you as calm as possible so you can actually have a good time.
2) Aim for connection over perfection. I encourage couples to think of the ceremony as a gathering of family and friends, not a show that has to be flawlessly executed.
3) Don’t read weather forecasts.
RUSSELL - What separates a top-tier wedding celebrant from the rest?
ROBYN - Experience is everything. I'd say the top-tier truly care. They've honed their craft and dealt with every situation you can possibly imagine. They know people and understand how to engage them, calm them, entertain them, and make everyone feel good. If you are searching purely for a budget price, you can definitely "get married”, but it will not be the experience for you - or your guests - that you will receive from somebody who truly knows and loves their work.
LILLIAN - That extra mile. It can be anything from making sure Grandma is seated comfortably, to helping the couple to relax when the nerves suddenly set in, to moving 50 chairs by 1-metre back to allow the photographers more space at the front. I could easily write a book on all the unseen acts of service to gladly help my couples.
ALICE - Their attention to detail, the quality of their gear, their industry experience and connections, and the time they spend (meeting with couples, crafting their scripts, improving their presenting skills, learning new tricks, building a network).
“The key isn’t getting the most expensive celebrant, it’s getting the one you connect with best.”
RUSSELL - How much should a couple budget for a great wedding celebrant?
ROBYN - How long is a piece of string? Anything from $800 to $1500 depending on location, requirements and style.
LILLIAN - Anything from $950 to $2000, however I've seen brand new celebrants pretty much give their soul to making their couple's wedding the best they possibly can.
ALICE - Anywhere between $750 - $2500, depending on your budget (budgets are real!). But the key isn’t getting the most expensive celebrant, it’s getting the one you connect with best.
RUSSELL - What other services does a professional celebrant offer that couples might not know about?
ROBYN - A great, experienced celebrant has contacts for everything. They are right there when the decorators and florists are setting up. They have worked with countless photographers. If you ask them, they will be able to refer you to amazing people - and cut your planning stresses in half!
LILLIAN - Renewal of vows at milestone anniversaries, baby namings, two stage weddings (ie. a legals only ceremony followed by a big wedding ceremony at a later date), funeral ceremonies, memorials, scattering of ashes. A lot of celebrants are also MC's. Lately I've been booked for a lot of MC gigs!
ALICE - MC! Trust me, your mate does not really want to do that job.
RUSSELL - Is there anything else you’d like to let couples know about what you do that we haven’t covered?
ROBYN - For me, this has always been a path I can follow with my heart. It has never been about money. I throw myself into every moment with the same level of excitement that you feel. Even after all this time, the joy of it all makes my heart sing.
LILLIAN - The process and how it can sometimes lead to a special connection. I like to start everything from scratch, which means a casual conversation in person or video chat with me jotting down notes, as the couple tell me about themselves and their wedding. Then I get into how it will all come together, plus the legal side of things. I love, love, love how conversations can develop and connections are made outside the wedding. I've had a travel agent bride book an overseas holiday for me, a cabinetmaker build kitchens in both my homes, and I'm an avid fundraiser for a couple's annual campaign.
Please take time to visit these incredible celebrant’s sites if you’d like to learn more, and a MASSIVE thank you to them for taking time out of their busy schedules for my lil blog!